Excerpts from a Mother's Diary - Part 1

Our mother started writing a journal the day she found out you were gone...here are some excerpts...

Dear Son:

Today I got the phone call that I knew would always come.  Do you want to hear how I felt?....I begged God to tell me it was not true (But see son my heart had known for weeks)...Son, I began to throw up, I tried to throw my Christmas tree out the window.  I began to throw things around the kitchen. Son I am still alone at this time......I see your daddy, Aunt - I fall to my knees, your daddy looks like he is 100 years old...I begin to scream...I finally beat your daddy's chest and ask him to tell me "they have lied."...Son your sister has to be told, I ask your uncle to take me to Columbia to tell your sister....Son, see you do not know how I had to pull myself together to not only call your sister and act like we are coming to see her for fun.......I knew you had to either have killed yourself or the drugs you took, "took" you this time.  Your daddy did not want to believe this.  No matter how you look at it son, you killed yourself....your sister wants to meet me at Target...I tell her to come to her apartment.  She knows something is wrong.  Son, she too has plans for today, I had to call one of her attorneys and tell them to find another sitter for tonight...Your uncle and I tell her - she screams as only a sister would for her brother.

There will be more to come...as I have trouble remembering some details so these documents help....they've been in storage up until I moved into my new place...