Grief "you can't get off until the ride is over" - so true! There is no time limit - no just the right way...Also no one grieves the same way...sure, 7 steps have been identified but I don't think life can be summed up that neatly...It's also easier to monitor the grieving process of others than to see yourself in that process...
I ran...I ran away from it...or toward something...I'm not sure which yet...between that December day and some times in January - I applied to law school, was accepted and actually went...I graduated this past May...Yea, I know right?! I could have done something a little less dorky like joining a cult, oh, or the circus...or pursue another dream - like moving to New York to take on Broadway...but ugh, I took the safe and at times mind numbingly boring route...but I wouldn't and couldn't quit...The first two years of law school - I worked from 9:00 AM to 5:30 PM and then class from 6:00 PM to 9:00 PM...not a lot of time to dwell, hurt, or even heal...Also I was worried about our parents (more about that later)...But I found ways...on my own to work through a few steps at my own speed...I've cried, talked, definitely been wobbly emotionally, spoken about it in a group (again, more about that later)...
But there is still a hole...something missing...it's an odd feeling...it's just figuring out what do with it that I've been working on...I've know friends who've lost a mother, father and a sister...we all belong to a special club...Not one we expected...I've watched them all grieve at different paces...and one even self destruct...so I'm careful...because the ride isn't over....
So here I am writing to you...
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